Never

Never knew happiness,

never knew lust,

never knew love,

never knew trust.

And then came along you.

There’s no where we can’t go,

Nothing we can’t do,

Nothing compares,

or even amount to,

the feelings feel when you’re just around to,

let me sleep as you watch our newborn baby at night,

you’re always making everything alright…

Never felt blessed, always felt blue until the day that I found you.

You know you’re never gonna survive, unless….

I stare blankly any more, no longer effected by the blood or the gore,

outside I hear the the wind blow,

it sounds almost like laughing,

What day is it I wondered, it had been a while since id been asking.

I don’t see the watcher here much anymore, not that I’m complaining, it’s not exactly pleasant when he comes thru the door, I don’t know what he chose to let me live for.

The bodies in the corner start stinking, cold lifeless eyes staring unblinking,

why am I still alive?

Outside the wind quiets, wherever I am it must be private, only sounds of outside now are crickets and silence,

Then all of the sudden I hear the unmistakable stomping of shoes on the earth floor, up the steps to the door.

I watch it open in slow motion, I’m ready to die. I’m not gonna fight you, I said holding my hands to my sides.

We both know it was a lie,

so he was ready.

In his hand the machete gleamed ready

..

but he didn’t see what I had in plain sight.

The gun was loaded to my delight, as he charged I wonder if he felt that bullet in is skull, down to his meaningless, nothingness, soul.

Deactivated

The games, the lies,

It’s no suprise, just look, my eyes,

no longer they cry, never again, emotionless as this quil…

The memory deleted, all senses defeated, no longer the hopeful suspense, my hope has fleeted, this time it didn’t even hurt, not the slightest hint of a wince.

Cold dead eyes stare in wonder, why these fuckers aren’t 6ft under? All I feel is hate, or is it hunger, I contemplate as stare at my shadow on the wall.

I’m the one deactivated after all…

Peek a boo, bitch!

The truth hurts,

the dude abides,

you only live once,

yet make the same mistakes more than twice tho.

A foundation made of stainless steel cement

No category 5 like no, not my name, it can’t be bent.

I was never lost not once, I wear glasses cuz i’m blind without them, can’t see shit.

Hate games and hide and seek shit.

I know my man’s greedy entitled baby momma’s gonna peep this, tired of they mouths too, steady on they sneak diss,

But i’m ready to call out all they shit, sis.

the truth hurts,

real niggas don’t hide,

ones an embezzling got fired from a bank ass bitch, the other one so desperate, no self confidance or pride,

buying her new man shit on fingerhut with my mans credit card, now she cant find the sign in and password, no surprise, yeah I know about it all, even the 10,000 you were supposed to use to get your grill fixed, you lied.

all of these things I’m ready to talk about so from me to you two I’m calling you out,

the truth hurts

This dude is tired of the manipulation and lies…

It is what it is ..

The dude abides..

Stop tryna hustle your baby daddy

And get it how you live.

Look forward to speaking with you bitches. I’ll be more than happy to answer any questions you have for me.

Case of the Ex

Fuck this!

“I’m going to swerve and hit this tree! 

And fuck you all who dont give a fuck about me! “

You think im strong,

but i am weak…

 I’m a confused package, all wrapped up neat. 

I hide my battle scars with the smile on my face. I sit act like a lady cause I know my place….

 I allow you to spread my thighs, not knowing i cried as you went deep inside ignoring my pride.  i gave you me and lost me in the path of my own self destruction.  I dont want to be raped again as i was as a child ao i lay on this bed and let you enter me giving you a fake smile. I have to give it to him, he wont take it any more and i remain in control. So i let you pounce out my dreams and hopes of ever knowing enternal peace because i let you tear a piece of me with every thrust. I have to give in and take control of my body is a must. But control of my heart and mind…now thats still something i cant find.

Thru the fire and the flames…

Uncaged …a wild animal…a demon…a cannibal…It’s mad, dangerous …maybe even insane… 

Think you know but you have no idea…because you don’t know a god dam thing.

Have you ever been beaten almost stabbed to death….ever saw your life flash in front of your eyes…as you’re taking your last breath? 

This is the me they’ll never know…only the scars from my past are here aglow…the past is there behind me… 

I’m happy now My held held proud …my soldier had to find me.. He tells me how he feels as he touches my scars blindly. 

I wouldn’t be this beautiful without my many scars… Just reminder of the battles won and defeated… Don’t stop believing…keep on wishing on the stars….

So mote it be…

Don’t stop believing.

-Journey

o intention of loosening the noose tied to us both… Im yours you’re mine .. So goes the oath. 

Just remember the law of three…
Ever Mind The Rule Of Three 

Three Times Your Acts Return To Thee 

This Lesson Well, Thou Must Learn 

Thou Only Gets What Thee Dost Earn.

The scars from karma fate in kind… Wrath never forgets to nevermind…  Ive done my evil… I seek the thrill.. My heart frozen…empty numb .. Just ..chill.. I kept glowing… Never could hide the shining… I took each slash from karma not even hating..

I knew the flesh would be a scar… I’ve survived all the others .. Still alive so far…
Emersed in darkness

Time forgot

Surrounded in coldness

Sins have wrought

Lack of sound

Lack of sight

Darker then the darkest night

Suddenly before me

A wavy path

Bricked by self hatred

Self-pity

Wrath

Blisters form 

Upon each stride

Under the soles

Of the soul inside

Lining the walkway

Burning hands

Set aflame by sins of a man

Countless voices

Cry out in pain

From souls that have gone insane

Within the flames

Faces twisting

Sockets burning

Red flesh glistening

Expressions tortured

Scorched skin cracks

Whip marks fresh

Upon their backs

The soul recoils

It tries to flee

From the sight of loved ones

In agony

But the mind has trapped

The soul inside

For that is where

All sins reside
Used to think i had a soul…certainly lived as though i couldn’t feel it, i was told i had a heart of gold …so i built walls around to conceal it…

Never crossed the path of Greif until your last breath from your body released…up into the matter..your concise found peace.. But hell again brought to those in this life. Left to rage battles..evilness…contentions..still victims of your lies…

So why do I mourn? This should be a celebretorial date…the date that my dear mother met her fate… Perhaps i mourn for the dysfunctional but fuctioning family gathering s of the previous years…

My heart has several stabwounds in it.. Probably more than you can count…more than your own….
Since I own your heart, I would say I own all of your wounds now…..
I love you. So much more than any way or word could ever express.. 
They dont exist…O’ I’ve longed for magic to grant me this,

many trials ive faced them, fought them badly, tho not forsaken because
. at last I’ve found my impossible love… Bleeding and broken..my heart beats dripping blood …but its all for you my love…  

If this is what you wish to own….here are  my heartstrings stiched up together with yours’ by you, it’s sewn. 

Bound together… our heartstrings forever henceforth never alone…

So it is.. as it should be… And now it begins…so mote it be…

Unmistakable

Any time ….
Anywhere …

Any place. …

You could be ..anyone today …maybe id be in disguise .. See you in a crowded room.. Maybe you could take me by suprise …i think you’re the one ive had in mind…

There come a day …when you wallk out of my dreams..face to face .. Like I’m imagining… Baby how can i be sure.. That your the one im waiting for will you be… Unmistakable.

Come into the dark with me 

Folllow me…

I’ll set you free

We cant resist…

My spark my queen 

Your Dark magic king 

Into my lightless soul..  Your knowing eyes ..i tell no lies …Your soul is safe with mine, you thaw the soul less chill.. Never thought id feel this way for you id quickly kill… Its up to me . .. You’re mine ill never set you free.. You are the reason of my rhymes.. We see thru eachother where others are blind. 

There come a day when we met in our dreams…now we are face to face …real no imagining..now im really fucking sure id kill id swim the oceans for … I look in his eyes and i see its obviously……unmistakable.

Tick….tock.. 

My eyes round as the moon, silently watching drinking you in..  Run my hands over my neck remembering your touch, your mouth on my skin.. She said im not really good with saying good byes… He looks up closes his eyes..feels his need well with up from once thought was lost far down deep within…never thought hed feel this feeling never had it then… Who is this devil woman …his vice..her mouth on his skin.. 
She looks at him in the eyes he stares back he sees her soul… She hurts but now theres once was a spark…has brightened to a glow. 
Her stubborn mind fights hard to belive…he loves her.. He does she knows ..he knows why shes leary …two lost souls collide implodes… Only to eachother true colors are showed. Her dark master summons he needs to feed …she bares her shimmering body .. Her every thought in his command his mouth her obsessive desire.. His hands on her neck makes her shimmering wet his dark eyes burn with desire… Hes gone for a week my life incomplete as i touch my neck …close my eyes …feel his obsession.. I silently watch the clock… tick…tock until sunday … All my love and affection…..